Saturday, 30 April 2011
Getting Unstuck
The great thing about being stuck is that the next day you can make a decision to be unstuck. Can finding your feet be that easy? Well today I decided it was. I woke up Saturday morning and remembered to step with my left foot not my right. When I do this, I remove drama and just live my life. I created my own story today and did not add any narrative advice. What peace I found inside in my head. Its easy to get caught up in my story, and my circumstances. Sprinkling a little drama when telling a story can give it some juice, when you add to much to daily activities, its like an over salted dish, it just needs to go.
Stuck
Here it is... life.. I am suppose to have found a new beginning, yet why do I find myself so stuck? Most days the grass greener and the air crisper, but today in this moment... just Stuck... Stuck in my old story and with same the old song. I don't want to go back and for some reason to afraid to move forward. When I feel fear its my first indication that I am on the verge of a breakthrough. No idea what it is, just that its about to happen. Which brings on more fear. My life changing moments have been huge in the past year. I move with such intensity with little time to reconsider. I make decisions, and then deal with the consequences. Is it better to make a decision from your heart, or your head? And what about the consequences? I know that in ever life changing decision that I have ever made it has come deep within me. My hiccups are because I thought to much. So where does this lead me today? Scared... taking baby steps.. and remembering that even the greatest started one step at a time.
Thursday, 28 April 2011
Gel Pens rock
I consider myself good at lots of things, except crafts. Even when the girls were little, we would sit down to color, glue, or paint and I could never find my inner artist. Tonight, I went to a mother daughter craft night. As we headed to the class, I was nervous. I knew I would actually have to use my hands and not my computer to create. My biggest challenge is the daunting empty piece of paper. Everyone around me always seems to have better ideas. All the other "crafters" were eager to get started. I needed time... and a escape route. As fate would have it, my wish was granted. We had a bonus activity, we were having our hands analyzed. My finger prints were looked at, gift lines, and inner hand markings. This definitely was not the gypsy with the crystal ball. What she described to me was Karma Sisters. It is fascinating to meet someone who knows nothing about you and is able to tell you things that no one else knows. Her main message was that I have a calling and it time to get to it. I wanted more, but my time was done, and I was forced back out to the craft tables. I was now behind and I had to get busy and commit. Its so much easier to be creative when the pressure is on. I settled down in my chair, channelled my inner child, thought about my calling and pulled out an amazing hand drawing with my Karmic message. Painting became like a meditative state. I liked being a child again, maybe my Mom will come over and make me lunch while I finish my coloring. Just so everyone knows, gel pens rock!
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
RIP Country Club Girl
Tonight was the start of the social season at the golf course and I didn't get to go Losing a country club membership is like getting kicked out of the cool kids club. It seems so shallow when I write it down, as my enlightened self says " come on Janet, there are starving children in this world!" Can't I be un-elightened just for one night? I have lots of fantastic memories of hacking up green grass, laughing with my friends, and enjoying a well deserved libation on the patio. I knew this day was coming and I had talked myself into acceptance. Or, so I thought. Then it happened... I drove passed the gates as all my friends cars were pulling in. I was out, it just seemed so unfair. When I am upset I go to yoga, it seems to ground me and allow me to find a different perspective. When the brain finally shut off and my thoughts began to come clearer it all made sense. My life has changed, lots of really great things and somethings, not so great. I forgave myself for being shallow. Every once in a while I get to be sad about losing something material. It was nice being a country club snob, as a matter of fact, I enjoyed every minute of it.. Tomorrow, I will be the change I want to see in the world as Ghandi said. Today... I am Mourning the death of Country Club girl... May she rest in peace, with a cold glass of Pinot Grigio.
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
Its my birthday
Today was my birthday and I have to say it goes down in history as a favorite. I made a couple of decisions before I walked down the stairs. First, if it didn't serve me I wasn't going to do it, and secondly I am going to enjoy every moment. As I walked into the kitchen for my java, I found my birthday present from the girls. They had made me a birthday basket. They put all kinds of goodies in it, a phone cover, hand sanitizer, martini glass, and a journal. They had explained in a note attached, why each item was there. The highlight was my journal, its note was from each daughter sharing what Karma Sisters meant to them.(Oh, there I go shedding a tear). Then off to yoga with my girlfriend, and lunch with my family at one of my favorite restaurants. Of course, more presents for me. Jill gave me a fabulous bracelet, Todd a new company registration for KS, and a gratitude letter from my oldest brother Tim. I had no idea how he saw me in the world. It was an amazing thing to find out that your older brother thinks your cool. I ended the day in fits of laughter with the DH at Earls. It was a perfect self serving day. I truly believe that your birthday should be a stat holiday. Nothing feels better knowing its all about you, even if its only for 24 hours. Thank you everyone for all the birthday wishes.. I would share my one birthday wish but it won't come true. You will just have to guess.
Monday, 25 April 2011
Silly talents
7 hours in a car with 5 children should be a long day. There are some advantages of having them in a confined space without a dvd player, internet or phone service. Once the initial fight of "shotty no challenge" is over, conversation naturally happens. Well, it wasn't really conversation, it was plain and simple sillness. Cassidy started talking about all of her talents. They weren't your run of the mill skills that mothers brag about. She shared crazy talents such as identifying and communicating with wildlife, removing barbies from twist tie packaging, and her delivery of a high kick in a random dance move. Soon we had had enough of her antics and asked everyone in the car. Here are the highlights. Hayley is very good at not losing any appendages to sharks when she surfs, Kate is especially good a lighting fireworks, Billie is really really really good gymnast and Kate's friend Makena is a world class yoddler (we had to help her, she just doesn't do silly) The lists went on and on, there were many talents they hadn't even tried, but the response was "how do you know it's not a talent?" Hmm I didn't. How many times and I stopped myself from trying something because I have already decided I won't be good at it? Geez, I think my silly smarty pant kids taught me something today. By the way I am really really good at passing cars on the highway and disco dancing!
Sunday, 24 April 2011
Easter with my soccer family
Happy Easter Karma Sisters. Its my favorite holiday. The promise of spring, tulips, golf and chocolate...lots of chocolate. It would not be a holiday without a turkey and a large dinner. This year we are in Kelowna for a soccer tournament, and we broke bread with 70 "family" members. This is different definition of family, we don't share any blood lines or any similar heritage. The only thing we have in common is girls who play soccer and were born in 1999. Over the past three years we have become a large family. Children run between rooms in the hotel, vehicles fill up with players from the field, we fed kids who are within an arms distance, we laugh, we disagree, and we always forgive. Family to me is about love, tradition, and laughter this group defines it all. Thank you to my soccer family, like any blood line, I didn't get to chose you, my soccer daughter did, but know I feel blessed to have you in my life. It amazes where we can find a family.
Saturday, 23 April 2011
Losing Johnny "o"
Today is the anniversary of my fathers death, its been 5 years since he passed, and we celebrated. For those who did not know him, he was a special man. Losing a parent is like losing your footing. Your foundation gets cracked, I am not sure I will ever recover. Looking back to the days prior, I was able to say good bye to him, and for this I will always be grateful. He was jetting off with my mother for a vacation, I made the drive across town to deliver a message. I needed to share with him what a difference he had made in my life and that he was my hero. How many times do we get to tell someone how important they are to us, and for some reason I took the opportunity. He died a lucky man, not only had me made his mark on this earth, but he was able to spend his last 10 days in paradise healthy and happy with his soul mate. I miss him everyday, and his presence is in every Karma blog. Here's to you Johnny "O"
Friday, 22 April 2011
Earth Day
Today is good friday and earth day. What a coincidence. Good Friday is based on the lunar calendar and earth day is based on our ecological footprint. There are many articles on the internet today linking the damage we have done to the earth in comparison to the death of jesus. This is far to dark for my butterfly and rainbow world that I like to live in. Instead of the doom and gloom, I am going to take it as a warning. A warning to start taking care of the earth. We all have mothers, and we all know its best to do what she says the first time. The wrath of a cranky mother can be epic. We are all living under mother earths rules.. When your mother tells you to do something, you do it the first time. Just remember, earth rules..
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Tired, that's it thats al
I am tired thats it thats all. Nothing to fix, nothing to do, no drama. This condition requires a good nights sleep and a great cup of coffee in the morning. My daughter is tired, but for some reason I was trying to fix her. In my tired brain, I started to think that maybe it was about me. Then I stopped myself, this is not about me, and I stopped adding drama. I don't live in a soap opera, with a violin playing all the time. She is tired thats it, thats all. When a tired mother and a tired teenager go at it, watch out it can be fireworks. This is why a great nights rest usually is a great prescription for relationships.
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
crazy busy
Today was one of those days where the list was much longer than the amount of time I had to complete it. If everything went as planned I would have completed a marathon of jobs. Your right it didn't happen. As a matter of fact, on days of frenzy, somehow extra things always get thrown in, and of course they are problems. My mind and body were racing, throwing me off kilter, and then I brought it home to my house. The girls are smart and they have seen this kind of crazy from me and they knew to leave me alone to work. Soon my door bell rang and a girlfriend was dropping off some homemade baking, and a chat. My task girl didn't want to sit and visit, but my friend girl did and she won (she loves baking). By the end of the 1/2 hour I had slowed down my mind and my body. Its amazing when we stop to enjoy just one moment in our day, it can reset your attitude. With the combination of sweets and chit chat, it change my crazy mom status to slightly insane.
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
Did you know you matter?
I just found out that a a co-worker has left work. I am not sure what happened and I didn't ask the details. I didn't want to hear any negative banter about someone who I thought so highly of. When it comes down to it sometimes situations just don't work out. This was my opportunity to repay a gift that a previous co-worker had given me years ago. I was fired in my early 20's as a bank teller, apparently it was important to be able to balance at the end of the night. Seriously detailed work for a big picture gal. When I walked out of the bank with my head hung down, the assistant manager came out to tell me that my laughter would be missed even if I was the worst teller in the world. Made me smile then and still does today. So I extended my kind words to my friend at work, he made a difference and he needed to know. These situations happen all the time in our fast paced world, sometimes positive sometimes not. Just think of all the relationships ending, kids get cut from soccer teams, neighbors moving away, or teachers leaving your school. What a gift to know that you mattered. Make sure you let that someone who matters to you know.
Monday, 18 April 2011
Busy Busy
Tonight was a busy night as usual, however I generally have more sleep. As we were driving in rush hour traffic coming home for the airport, my whining began. I shared all that needed to happen in a very short amount of time. Of course my girlfriend who was listening to this display of self pity made a few suggestions. The first, ask for help. What me? Ask for help? I prefer to be the martyr, thank you! Next. Her second suggestion was to stay home and not get to all of my commitments. That seems easy enough, but what do I do with all the guilt for not following through with what I had promised? When I feel guilty I know I am falling short of my own expectations. My expectations of myself are always higher than those of others. I would forgive someone else if they just couldn't do it all. So why won't I cut myself some slack? So here is my plan. I will just be aware in the future of what I take on. And maybe, one night say I can't do it. Baby steps, everyday reclaiming a small amount of time!
Poolside
Today, I feel blessed. I am sitting in the sun listening to the sound of a fountain poolside in Scottsdale. The temperature is a smoking 34 and its snowing at home. I have enjoyed 4 days with 4 beautiful woman and now we are winding down to come home. This was my opportunity personally wind down before we leave. So the girls left me in the quiet sun for the air conditioned mall. They are searching for the last minute bargains to bring home. This will be the first time in history that I am leaving this shopping mecca without having to pay tax at the border. I stopped to think about what I had bought in the previous years. When I reflected back other than a glorious pair of shoes, I really couldn't remember. There.. I just gave up another addiction. My addiction to stuff. I have no more room to hold it in my house. As a matter of fact, its spewing into the yard, the hallways and out of every closet. It really has become just another thing to manage. Have you noticed that every store carries different sizes of bins to hold all our unwanted items? Then in the last act of desperation when it gets to big to manage, we end up putting it into a green garbage bags and stuffing it into a over filled donation bins. Somehow I feel like I have just opened up more space for me and my house. Back to the sun, I only have a few hours left and I don't want to waste it.
Sunday, 17 April 2011
Give up your phone!
Thats it! I can't take it... I hate being tied to my phone.. I am not sure when I decided that I was so important. So, today was the day, I gave up one of my addictions. I just left my iphone behind. The girlfriends couldn't believe it.. then the questions... What if the kids call? What if someone needs you? Lets think about this question, What did we ever do before cell phones? Perhaps, we just waited for the person to arrive home. OMG, when I grew up we didn't even have an answering machine. Imagine not even being able to leave a message. I am sure to the younger KS, this would be a similar comparison to our parents having to walk for hours to school in the snow with no shoes. The first hour without the ping ping, I was crazy. I kept checking my pockets, like I had lost something. Second hour, I would reach to text someone a insignificant note. By the third hour, I had it down because I had a single quiet moment, and that was it. Somehow I found a sense of peace. I wondered what my kids were doing. I can tell you the girls are probably happy crazy mother wasn't looking for them
Friday, 15 April 2011
Day to day relationships
I am sitting on the patio talking about relationships and what is the secret to a good one. Then a brilliant sister says "it's not the big moments, its the day to day that make a relationship". Think about this.. it's so true. In friendship or in marriage, the people we truly count on are the ones who have walked through all the good and the bad. It is so easy to become disconnected. Its like building a high rise of a building the stronger the base the higher up it goes. Every relationship takes two people, lets be the first to start the day to day. Lets build the base, or perhaps just fix the broken cement.
Thursday, 14 April 2011
Getting to the pool?
I started the day disheveled.... really off my game. Yesterdays events lead me into chasing my schedule. I am not good at being behind. This morning it continued, I am heading to Phoenix with the golf girls and dropping off two of my daughters for a visit with Grandma & Grandpa. I had forgotten the kids travel letter, there was another 20' of snow on the ground, 5 bags 3 sets of clubs and 5 people in my car ( All the men said the luggage wouldn't fit. I got it all in.. HA!).. Of course traffic was slow on the Deerfoot, line up at the airline & then a longer one at the security... All on no coffee and no sleep. When we finally got on the plane, it was announced we were delayed 2 hours because of de-icing..... then bing bing..a text message... I was hoping for a good news report... Nope, better.. an adjustment. The message was from my beautiful niece Lindsay.... She is riding the C-train and late for school. Lindsay holds a special place in my heart, I was blessed to watched her grow into a incredible woman. She sent out this challenge to a text group......"instead of starting my day negatively, I am trying to think positive. First thing that came to mind was how grateful I am for my family and friends. You have impacted my life by just being in it." The moment I read her text, my cloud lifted. I am so blessed to be part of her life. She changed her attitude and it changed mine. The power
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
Kaos
I have a dog named Kaos.. Naming a dog after sheer mayhem, probably wasn't the best choice. His name came about when a friend said "getting a dog with 4 kids is chaos" ta da.. his name was born. In hindsight, harmony might have brought more peace in this house. Today he took off chasing a bike and was hit by a car, right in front of me. I scooped him up and walked into the vet at the end of my street. After many tests, it was determined that he only ever had two brain cells, and he fractured his spine. He now has to wear a splint for a week. Needless to say it was a very long day. At one point I was feeling very anxious and overwhelmed, so I decided to call in the troops. I sent out a text message to 20 of my friends requesting a good news report. I wanted anything... even if it was just that their hair turned out. Well in a instant the sweet sound of glass pinging overtook my phone. Good News reports coming in, some made me laugh, others made me smile and one just made me think about how short life really is. I feel terrible for the lady who hit hit Kaos, she was very upset. Karma Sisters lets send her some karma love. I did phone and apologize to her for having to be in one of my life lessons. Who knows maybe she is suppose to be a KS? So now the exciting part... what am I taking from today? Well, when something terrible happens, look for something good... Even if you have to ask for it... Maybe Taurus's can ask for help!
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
Happy Birthday TWO
It's my brother Todd's birthday today, and my mother and siblings took him out for lunch. When the five of us get together the volume is usually very high and we are in fits of laughter. One is always trying to tell a more outrageous story. Birthdays were never a big deal growing up. It probably was that there were four of us very close in age and with two full time working parents there just wasn't time. I didn't really grasp the significance of birthdays until I had children. Now I understand it is the only day of the year that it really is all about you, actually if you think about it, its a day for recognition and appreciation. So that's what I decided would be the perfect gift. So I gave Todd his appreciation letter. I shared a memory from childhood and what I admired about him. What more could a single guy want? Well maybe a girlfriend, a million $$ and a new car... Hey I am not a magician! Happy Birthday TWO, you rock!
Monday, 11 April 2011
Gratitude
I have started my week of gratitude. It has been a crazy year for me and looking back there were moments that I was knocked down and I couldn't find my feet. I was picked up and carried a few times but the majority of the help was extended to me in the smallest of jesters. The great thing about tragedy in life is you find out who is true and who throws you in the fire. I can tell you I was so pleasantly surprised about who stood beside me. I started sending out thank you cards today, the old fashion way by mail. They will continue until the list is complete. I am letting all of these people know what a difference they made in my life. I just want to say thank you for helping me find the road when I was lost. The best thing about this project is when I sealed my first envelope, it brought me great sense of peace. My accomplishments in the last year are shared with all of my friends. Just know that I will stand beside you when you have lost your way.
Sunday, 10 April 2011
Living Big
Sometimes one idea is shared and it can make a profound difference in the way we think about a situation. Today's insight: When things get difficult, GET BIG... This is completely the opposite thinking of what we would do naturally. Usually when things are hard, we pull back and shrink away. Its a survival instinct. However, if we react to a demanding problem with our muchness, greatness, energy, whatever you want to call it, things just might just turn out completely different. This is simple, if its not working for you change direction, or this case size. Its a lot easier to see from up high then from a hole. Big hopes, big ideas, big dreams, just living big. Embracing life, and not a setback.
Worry...
Everyday at around 2:30 in the morning I receive a Hopeful note from HowieJ. He sends inspirational notes to wake up those of us who choose to have one positive email a day. Like anything, sometimes they just resinate in your body. I have been chewing on his words of wisdom since Thursday.. Not that I am an over-thinker. Here is his exact quote:
Janet, it’s better to be present in the moment to see what is required than making projections for the future that may never occur. Seriously? Making lists and looking into my crystal ball of doom are two of my favorite activities. They consume my thoughts in the few quiet spaces I have like in yoga or in my car. Thank goodness there are very few quiet moments for me. If you type in worry to the google search you get About 248,000,000 results. Wow, worry is taking us all over. Why do I find myself joining in? It's draining.. Next time the crystal ball of doom appears in my head I will give it a toss and send out gratitude for everyday that I live a healthy life and above ground. If only that crystal ball could give me the lotto max numbers. Karma sister conference on me in Costa Rica!
For those of you who would like to have HowieJ wake you up here is his link:
www.howiej.com
Janet, it’s better to be present in the moment to see what is required than making projections for the future that may never occur. Seriously? Making lists and looking into my crystal ball of doom are two of my favorite activities. They consume my thoughts in the few quiet spaces I have like in yoga or in my car. Thank goodness there are very few quiet moments for me. If you type in worry to the google search you get About 248,000,000 results. Wow, worry is taking us all over. Why do I find myself joining in? It's draining.. Next time the crystal ball of doom appears in my head I will give it a toss and send out gratitude for everyday that I live a healthy life and above ground. If only that crystal ball could give me the lotto max numbers. Karma sister conference on me in Costa Rica!
For those of you who would like to have HowieJ wake you up here is his link:
www.howiej.com
Saturday, 9 April 2011
40th birthday
I was lucky to spend my friday night with 14 friends to celebrate a 40th birthday. I started to think about the amount of growth that happens in every decade. Just think about what we accomplished in the first 10 years of our lives, crawling, walking, and talking. Flash forward 30 years of experience and we are at 40. Done having children and now discovering who we truly are. The best part is we no longer pretend. If it doesn't fit we just don't want it in our lives. We simple just don't have time for any extra drama in our lives. As we hit a new milestone, there is always some reflection from the past 10 years and an instant knowing about our next 10. I am not looking forward to the aging on my body, but I embrace the self acceptance that age brings. What a gift self worth would be to get at 18. Let's enjoy every decade that we find ourselves in and appreciate that we can say.. been there...done that and wore it!
Thursday, 7 April 2011
My day out with Grade 2
I got to see something today with new eyes. This story starts 15 years ago when me and my sister decided to see the town as adults. We bought two tickets to the Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra. We went for dinner first, and had a few glasses of wine to shake off our long day. We discussed who we would see, perhaps some local celebrities in what we thought was Calgary's "A" crowd. We were very disappointed that the theatre was full of stuffy aged stoic nobody's. I am sure you know where this is going.. after about 1/2 hr of listening to the chamber music, we left. It was like being in a library all dressed up. So painful for two girls who dance like the solid gold dancers from the 70's. So today, I accompanied the grade 2 class to the same venue for the CPO music in motion. My first reaction was how are we going to keep these kids from jumping over the balcony? The great thing about kids is that they don't know they are suppose to sit still in a concert. To my delight, this is not the same concert that I had walked out of 15 years earlier. The conductor took us through a brief workshop. We learned how to lead an orchestra, and then listened to some true classics. The entertainer ( we did the Can Can in our seats), Blue Danube waltz and a Polka. At one point I looked down on the seats below and the crowd looked like a sea moving to the music. It's sad we have to take the wonder and the dance out of the music. This is how to see the CPO with the eyes, the rhythm, and the manners of a grade 2 class.
Wednesday, 6 April 2011
Rule breakers
Rules... Most of us live inside the boundaries of them everyday, how come not everyone follows them? I am not talking criminal stuff, just small infractions, mostly courtesies to others. Minor really in the grand scheme of life, especially when watching the news. However, serious in this karma group, as it makes grumpy sisters. Here is a brief list of Wednesday violations...passed in a playground zone, nearly hit by a texting driver, parking in a no parking zone at school, talking on a cell phone and paying for groceries (apparently the clerks are robots, that don't deserve our consideration) and the big one.. talking in the yoga studio. This one particularly makes me angry as it is the only time in the day that I am forced to be silent, and I love it. I know I am ranting, but I just don't understand how there are people in this world who don't think the rules apply to them. I have a theory of course, I am linking all of this to having no time. We are all rushing in our own little bubbles not really paying attention to anyone or to the world around us. Its Anarchy.. ok maybe not, but if we all just followed the rules, there would be peace on earth. It is just so simple. Don't you love that from talking in yoga I have solved world peace? Only in KS!
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
Slowing down.. Ha
I am struggling to slow myself down. I found myself today with a hour of spare time. I didn't want to waste it at the computer (aka time sucker).. What could I do for me in my house? It wasn't going to be the laundry or the vacuuming. I struggled to find an activity. Anxiety was rising in me, and a realization that I have no hobbies other than tasks. Wow, I had just discovered something about myself. I have 10 books that are unread on my beside table, but none of them were calling. Books are one of my Costco addictions, especially in the self help category. I am not sure it is because they are so cheap or it just looks cool to have them at the check out. So I went to my personal list of a 100 things I want to do or learn. Scanned passed snowboarding, tennis, making bread, expiry date items, and finally decided on meditation. This is the perfect activity for slowing down. I know this is a practice, one that requires stillness and a clear mind. These are two things that rarely happen. I didn't make an hour.. only 10 min. Then I hit the time sucker... There is always something on Ebay, so I bought a book on how to mediate. I will just add it to the pile stacked beside my bed for the next time I find myself with a hour.
Monday, 4 April 2011
Stepping with my left foot
I got a text today from a friend, very simple..."Hey, I have a friend who wants to meet you...Interested?"... Here it is, the set up. I really haven't dated since the 90's, my trademark moves are now vintage. Do we still break out into line dances? I am instantly consumed with fear, not only have I forgotten all the steps, but what do we talk about? Am I ready to face single life? I made a new years resolution to step with my left foot instead of my right. It was more about saying yes to life, and no to fears. Making sure I was living my life by design and not by accident. I heard a great quote today "just take the leap and the universe will provide the net" Maybe its time I leap. So where does this lead me with this text message? I am not sure, but I feel sorry for this guy, as he will be the subject of a blog. A first date, can you stand it!
Sunday, 3 April 2011
expiry dates
I was cleaning out my kitchen today, looking through all the stale cracker boxes and bad salad dressings. Tossing anything that "somebody" might eat. If "somebody" ever showed up here he would feast. I was also checking for items that had passed their expiry date. Of course, like always got me thinking about all the things that are past their expiry date in my life. Small stuff like my messy garage, the thank you to the neighbors for taking such good care of me and the girls, the estimate on my car and my paper pile. I wouldn't say I am a procrastinator, but like most of us, there are things that I just can't get to. If I truly wanted to free up time, I need to focus, find some energy, and take care of all my expiry dates. I can only imagine what I can accomplish with a clear head and a clean desk. Maybe time for my life! I wonder if "somebody" is busy?
Saturday, 2 April 2011
Opening doors
I bumped into a friend today grocery shopping. Like all other days, there is a conversation about the happenings in the world and our community. She leaned in and whispered that a couple in our neighborhood had separated. I had a flood of thoughts and feelings come over me. First, was this how the news spread that I my relationship had ended in front of the deli counter at Safeway? Secondly, am I suppose to feel relieved that there is someone else that has joined my special club of misery? What I really felt was compassion for this couple and their children. It has taken me a year to come through a very difficult time. One that I would not change as I have finally figured out who I am. But its not something I would not wish on anyones family. As they say, when one door closes another one opens. Unfortunately with a marriage break up, two things need to happen. You need to close the door, on friends, relatives, and your life plan. Then.. most importantly, you need to figure out how to open the next door. This is the scary part. I took me a year. I just needed to figure out how to turn the handle and walk through all on my own
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/stacey_kramer_the_best_gift_i_ever_survived.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/stacey_kramer_the_best_gift_i_ever_survived.html
Friday, 1 April 2011
Self Confidence
Self Confidence, I just read was the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits.. I am always baffled when I meet an amazing accomplished woman who share's the same issues of self confidence. These are woman who speak several languages, graduated from universities, built companies, or have amazing families. Yet they still question their abilities. When we look back in our lives what was the moment that we decided that we were not good enough? And if we all believe at some time point that we are not worthy, then who are the judges? There is a freedom in living our lives with truly believing we deserve a fabulous life. The secret is finding out how we get there together. Imagine the changes we could make on this earth if we stood together, believing in each other. Lets start by supporting and encouraging each other. Always remember... Send love..
My Yoga Ego
I have a yoga ego. I know that the yogi's say its a practice about my own mind and body, but its very difficult for me not to have a peek around the room. I just want to see how my posture compares. This of course began the thought process about where else that I am taking my ego. Self discovery requires brutal honesty... I will confess only two places, as my ego can appear everywhere, and I am not writing a book. It is definitely is in my shoe collection and being honest during difficult times.
When I am asked "are you ok?" I feel it... up comes that ego and I always respond yes with a smile... true or not. I never want to appear sad. Just like I am back in the yoga studio, comparing myself to everyone else. Who said that we always have to be happy? And more important who is happy all the time? I am going to think about checking my ego, at yoga and in life. Thinking about the yogi who reminds me that it's a practice. Just remember guru my shoe ego is off limits.
When I am asked "are you ok?" I feel it... up comes that ego and I always respond yes with a smile... true or not. I never want to appear sad. Just like I am back in the yoga studio, comparing myself to everyone else. Who said that we always have to be happy? And more important who is happy all the time? I am going to think about checking my ego, at yoga and in life. Thinking about the yogi who reminds me that it's a practice. Just remember guru my shoe ego is off limits.
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