Happy Birthday Comet

When you name a daughter after Haileys comet, you must expect the same characteristics.   Bright ball of fire that lights up the sky.  Has such incredible energy that  it can be seen by the naked eye.  Well,  My comet is 15 today, and Hayley is all energy and she puts it into everything,  everyday (usually with  sassy humor.)  One of my favorite things about her is when she decides to accomplish something, she does.  No excuses  no grand gestures, she just gets to work and gets it handled. And if it didn’t go as planned, she negotiates.    My only real issue is the condition of her room.   Most days it looks like a gang tore through it looking for crown jewels.  Even when its “clean” the vacuum could never pass over the carpet.    Happy Birthday Hayley,  “You are going to make big tracks in this world”  as my father would say.  

Where is the loyalty?

Today my “baby mac” officially broke.  This is the lap top that I have done all my writing on.  My first official, me computer, and a very close friend.   When I took it into the Mac store today, they tried to talk me out of fixing it.  Dylan,  the mac genius had lots of great reasons for buying new.   It is better value, longer warranty, and most importantly, all the new features of the mac book.  As a taurus, I a fiercely loyal, I have trouble going to another Starbuck barissta for my coffee and the thought of just handing in baby mac to some computer graveyard almost made me ill.     This computer holds photos of the girls from birth, my very first buy on Itunes from 8 years ago and of course endless amount of writing time.   I know that it can all be transferred over, but makes me think that this is what is wrong with people these days, to much of out with the old and in with the new.   Is there any  loyalty left?   My old  laptop is coming home in 7 days and I am planning a  celebration with a coffee from my favorite Starbuck Barrista,  Jen.   

commitment

There has been a common threat in conversations with friends these days.  And it is about commitment.  There is a fear about making a choice.  “What if its wrong?” “ What if its not what I want to do?”  “What if there is something else?”.....   What if there is something else, and the wrong choice lead you to the right one?  I grew up under the goal oriented model, set your goal and move to it.  I have no goal (my father is freaking out in heaven right now) just an intention for change.   I am finding a real freedom in not truly knowing and just enjoying my life.  I have given myself permission to be very curious about absolutely everything.   Moving forward, changing directions, going back, it is all movement.  Standing still only keeps you somewhere that you really don’t want to be.    Life is passing by, take a baby step, even if your not sure of the road.    

Highschool again?

I am having some crazy dreams this week. I think eveyone has had the one from highschool. I am always lost in the halls looking for my home room. I have no books, I haven’t studied and its the final exam. When I wake up, I am happy to be back in my 40 something body (well for a few moments until my hips creak). I know its because my class is this weekend and I am behind in my studies. I read a great article about change and procrastination. It talked about where we put our energy is where the biggest growth happens in your life. If you want a new career, focus on that. Whatever is consuming you, focus your energy towards. So Tuesday, I am putting my energy back into my books, and a few other plaguing matters. So long highschool! Maybe I will go back to dreaming about something more realistic, like running away from tornados.

officailly the end

Thats it, today was the end of summer.    We just had the last weekend of warm weather.  The autumn leaves are slowly falling to the ground.     We did a lot of  summer living in this family squeezed into the cracks of a busy household.   Tonight, I dragged Kate on the roof to look at the stars when she should have been in bed.  The air is so warm, the sky so clear,  I had to share it.  The clock is moving forward leading us into a new season and we can't fight it, we just have to enjoy any moment we can.

International Peace Day

It is international peace day today. I envisioned it more of a grassroots movement then a international awakening. Something that each individual took responsibility for and not a nation. I heard today a interesting quote, it went something like.... We must make peace with ourselves before peace can be found in the world. Very True. Everyone wants more peace in their lives, it is just phrased different. Sounds like... more kindness, more time, or more quiet. All these stress’s are really about balance. When you have balance you have peace. Just being more thoughtful, less angry, and more understanding. What a difference that could make world wide. We must appreciate and send gratitude for what we have everyday.

This is a great lead in to an event happening in Calgary on Friday night at Ceili’s Irish Pub. Here is the official plug.

If you need some good karma, and looking for a great night out. Join the L.I.B (Let It Be) fundraiser. This organization is working with impoverished countries. They reach out and help where it is needed, from building schools to investing in communities to improve their quality of life. Check out the facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=207112672680795.

Tickets are $15 (includes 1 free drink and a chance to win the door prize). Book your tickets now by emailing info@libinternational.com. Hope to see you there! Check out the website at www.libinternational.com

Peace Love Understanding and Music Fundraiser II with the Reuben Kincaids!

Location: Ceili's Irish Pub & Restaurant

Time: ‎7:00PM Friday, September 23rd

What a delusional moment

“You can’t change your mind” Cassidy spat out when I told her I decided against having a bunny in our house. I think it is one of the greatest things about being a woman is that we can change our minds and we do. I know there are days in my house that I agree to things and I haven’t really thought it out. Perhaps all the voices in my head where talking at the same time, it’s really tough staying with one conversation. But agreeing to a rabbit? It was a delusional moment. We decided to borrow “Ava”, Chantelles bunny for a week to see how it fits in our family. Which got me thinking about a new business, pet rentals. What parent really wants hamster? One week with the rodent is all kids need before the magic wears off, and the stink starts. I have high hopes the week with Eva the bunny that the luster wears off. I will offer cupcakes as a peace offering. They always makes everything better. Change your mind sisters, especially when your sanity is at risk!

Happy Birthday Cassidy

Today is a special day. Its my oldest daughter, Cassidy’s 17th birthday.. I can't believe I have a child who is in grade 12. She said, its really a birthday that has no fan fare. At 16 you get to drive and at 18 you become an adult and at 17 no hoopla. For this mother 17 has lots of hoopla. Its really officially the last year she is my baby. After 18 she can get tattoos, get married, join the arm and adopt a bunny without my consent. I only have 12 more months of power. I dug out of the basement today, the newspaper from the day she was born. I came across her horoscope. Here are the highlights from 17 years ago. She is a virgo who is a perfectionist...(yup she’s got that unless it is her room) A born teacher who loves to share her expertise with friends and colleges (Already decided to be a teacher). Now looking one year ahead, I can only hope that next year when she is officially of “age”, I am not blogging that she has gotten engaged, adopted a bunny and has a tattoo. Well, unless the tattoo says “my mom rocks.” Your an amazing person Cassidy and I am very proud of who you are.

Surrender to the white flag

There is an art in learning how to surrender.  I often find myself in a battle, wondering how to  wave the white flag when things have not gone my way.   I just spent the last 15 minutes completely frustrated looking for my book.  I was sure one of the little people who live in this house had taken it.    I surrendered to the fact it was lost,  decided to stop looking for it and it suddenly appeared on my night stand.  Can surrendering to other situations be that easy?    I am going to make it my goal this week to “pick my battles” and “wave the white flag when necessary”.    We can’t change every situation,  sometimes we can only minimize the causalities.

Apology

So my intention today was to greet everyone that I crossed paths with a  hearty hello, a smile or a greeting.    As I walked today at the dog park with Kaos, I meet a couple that turned right as I turned left.  At the end of the walk, I saw them again, and noticed they had no dog.  So, I asked “your are down at the dog park without a dog?”.   “Yes” they replied sadly, “we lost our dog a few years ago, but still like to walk here”.  It was one of those moments where I wanted to take my foot out of my mouth.  Of course, I meant nothing by the comment other than small talk, but found myself in a difficult conversation.  What to do?  I apologized for my insensitivity.    As it was alright to walk in the dog park, it was ok to walk without a dog, and of course it was alright to do it without questions from a nosy red head.  I know we have all said things that just didn’t come out the right way.  How about when we try and cover them up and make it much worse than the original violation?  Sincere Apology... Its all I could do, and a severe scolding from myself to myself.  

Ripple effect

As I lived my life today, I was aware how energy changed when people came in and out of my day. Mostly fantastic, but some not so great. Got me thinking about the big big picture. What if you decided to make to make a small difference with everyone you meet.. Just the tiniest impression that they carry through the day. What if an entire community silently makes a pledge for a similar goal, the effect like a ripple in a lake. Maybe we could find a bit more kindness or understanding. We have all had days were nothing seems to go right and we lock into a negative flow. What happens if we refuse to allow everything to go wrong, and accept that the lost keys are just lost keys for that moment? Attitude.. in life and relationships. Amazing how that ripple carries.

Please add a narrator to my life

A while back I blogged about Goldilocks and the Three Bears. If you missed it, here is the nuts of it. There were three sides to this story. The narrator, who was able to tell the story with very little emotion and lots of facts. The Three Bears, who were distraught that this little girl walked in their home, uninvited, ate their food, broke a chair and then had the nerve to fall asleep. Then of course, Goldilocks who was lost and alone in the woods and found this beautiful home, a refuge from the elements. The Three bears and Goldilocks are never going to agree on the true happening of the story. Both stories are true, as they are true to the individuals who’s emotions and experiences created the story. I had to remind myself this week, as I found myself lost in my own story. Life can be so complicated. There are days that I wish the narrator could jump in and let me know exactly what the facts were. Had the narrator taken the Three Bears aside and told them how this girl found herself in their home, this fairy tale’s ending might have changed. Maybe... the three bears made Goldilocks a fresh bowl of porridge while she cleaned up her mess... just a thought.

Guru's say Embrace love

I made a decision about 2 weeks ago to jump in and take yoga training.  I thought it would be a breeze.  I regularly practice, critic teachers in my head and have become fearless in class.   That’s the great thing about the universe is that it is so humbling.   As I found out this weekend, I know nothing about yoga.  There was a moment this afternoon, when my heart began to beat out of my chest.   How could I stand in front of a class, and speak about energy from the earth?  Fear can be crippling, and I am not going to let it take me over.    It is going to be an amazing journey and a lifetime of learning.     When a passion comes into my life, effort is lost, and a gentle grace comes.   This weekend of training only taught me that we will always be students in life.   Embrace change, embrace learning, and most importantly as the guru’s say, Embrace love..  (now that was yogi) 

Tonight was my 25 year High School Reunion. Its a bit surreal when you have a daughter who is in grade 12. To me, it really wasn’t that long ago that I walked the hallways of high school. It is only 3 years but has such an impact on our lives. High School is when you actually believed you were a adult, but still needed the boundaries set by your parents. We started dreaming about careers, relationships and learned how to drive. You are still a child but occasionally act like an adult. There are some days I wish I still was in School and lived with my parents. Something fantastic about coming home to dinner and clean laundry.

Growing a garden

Today in yoga, the teacher made reference to your life being like a empty garden. You can plant any seed you wanted, cultivate it and watch it grow. It really got me thinking about what seeds are in my hand. Sometimes the wheels in my head begin to move so fast about what my life could be, it almost overwhelms me back to complacency. No negative seeds needed. I am already growing a crop of nonsense. I have this image of me walking down a empty field in my overalls. Starting simple, picking emotions.... I would plant joy, understanding, kindness, and laughter. I would include intentions towards my family, my career and my friends. I just need to put that first seed in the ground. I think I will plant joy first. We all could use a little more fun around here.

Perfect moment

I stood on the first tee box at golf  today looking down hole number 1.  I decided that I wasn't going to take score.  I was going to just hit the ball and enjoy being out.  Sometimes the ego gets in the way of the fun.    Its was 25 above, and I was enjoying the moment.   What a  luxury it is to be golfing on a Wednesday,  when most people were working.   Do I really need to know what my score was?    In my head, I might of been close to the course record.  Scorecard reality,  would have told me otherwise.     Something has happened to me in the last two years, almost like I found an hour glass on my life.  Each grain of sand represents one moment and I am trying to clutch every one.    Hanging out with my girlfriends in the sun on a golf course is as close to a perfect piece of sand as I will ever get.   

Chaos is way more fun

Today felt like my life is back in routine. Wake up, get dog out, make coffee, get lunches, wake girls.... on and on. Soon its 9:05 and I already have accomplished so many little things. Just everyday stuff that we all do as parents to get kids to class. We really don’t want them to live at home for the rest of their lives. I often wonder when the girls are all moved away what my life will look like? I know that I will have clean bathrooms, full fridge of food and no finger prints on my walls. The house will be empty, quiet and lonely. Maybe hearing loss in seniors is a result of not wanting to hear that they are no longer surrounded by family. I keep trying to remind myself that there will be a day that I will miss the school bags at the front door, the wrappers stuck in the chairs, and the screaming girls. When its “witching dinner hour” and we are all tired and hungry, I take a moment to dream. I think about what quiet would be like. Makes me sad. Quiet is over rated, chaos is way more fun.

Hours of school Forms

That was an hour of my life I will never get back.. Back to school forms.    With 4 kids and 3 schools they came home with  a large amount of paperwork, and even larger school fee form.  I started with the youngest, Billie.  My favorite sheet was about learning.   Question #1 “How does you child best learn?”.  Geez, I really have no idea.   Don’t they know #4 learns by osmosis?   Question #2, “How do you discipline your child?”.   I thought about..  “ beat her with a stick”, was my first response but after some thought I changed it.   I don’t want child welfare here because I think I am funny... So instead,   I wrote,  child labour.  Still funny.    The school fee’s inch up every year.  I am positive that way back in the  70’s & 80’s that my parents didn’t write large check’s for gym, gym strip, locks,  school society, lunch time supervision, bus passes, field trips and instructional material.  What exactly is instructional material for a teacher that the government doesn’t supply?  I hope its smelly markers.   In my opinion,  the greatest school supply invention since the pencil.  School society?   Must be for the higher society kids who have tea and cucumber sandwiches for lunch.  I hope Billies teacher thinks I am funny.  Could be a long year for her cleaning the chalk board. 

End of summer

ts the end of summer... the September long weekend. Everyone is squeezing the last breath’s out of this season. The river pathways in the city were packed. The outdoor cafe’s were full and all the store doors were open to the last of the summer breeze. We all know its over. It’s in the morning air. Retailers are reminding us in every store with the new fall collection. Halloween is 8 weeks away and Walmart has dedicated the size of a football field to merchandise. I wonder why we have trouble staying in the moment? We are constantly bombarded soon, we will hear the count down to Christmas, including how many paychecks. (Insert anxiety here) I am not participating! I am going to enjoy summer until the official end on the 23rd. Until then, I am wearing my white pants and flip flops.

Oh no not you!

I heard it and it made me cringe.. That negative undertone greeting. Starts like... “Oh no not you!”.... “ who invited you?”.... or... “There is no room for you!”. When it happened today, we all nervously laughed and it l instantly changed the energy in the room. If our daughters greeted a friend like that, we would have a chit chat about being a mean girl. So, as adult woman why are we “humorously” greeting friends and acquaintances by not including them? The little girls inside of us have been left out at the playground, and we don’t want to be left out as adults. Well, thats not entirely true. Sometimes I want to be left out. Like the kids bottle drive days, I can only hope they say “ who invited you” when I show up.

3 10's

I got a text from a friend this morning that the first day of school was like Christmas, I couldn’t agree more. The kids are excited (well for at least one day) and the parents just want some peace. As I was busy getting the girls ready, it dawned on me I was celebrating a few 10’s. 10 years at my house, 10 years at our little community elementary school, and a 10 year friendship. When we moved here, Cassidy was in grade 2. She cried on the first day, she was all alone. I cried too, thinking I was so mean. I had debated driving her back to the old neighborhood to prevent any further childhood trauma. It was a long day waiting to pick her up, anticipating a long tragic story about how she felt abandoned. Of course, when she found me in the playground she announced she had a “new best friend”. She couldn’t remember her name, only that she had really pretty hair. I love how children instantly make new best friends. This was our Mary. She is still one of Cassidy’s best friends, my daughter #5 and the most important 10 celebration today. These two are lucky to be able to look back and to have shared most of their childhood memories with each other. Happy anniversary girls, cherish your friendship.