The Sea

There is a real power in the sea that I find so fascinating. I spent a few minutes down at the beach this morning after meditation. I explored all of the shells, and miscellaneous items such as shoes washed up on shore. Each has its own story on how it was lost or where it came from. Handmade items such as the square, was made by someone for a specific reason, and now lies on the beach of a resort. We had a huge bon fire and the sea has washed it away without a trace of the 40 people that stood the night before sharing stories. The sea is a great example in life, clearing away what is not needed and placing new items to explore.

New Christmas Traditions

Christmas is steep in tradition, and when our tradition gets messed with a internal pity party begins.    It doesn’t matter if it is divorce, marriage, or new relationship, when it comes to big holidays things change.. As humans we are creatures of habit.   My test today was finding our new family tradition.  The girls are off to Hawaii on Thursday for Christmas and New Years without me (don’t feel sorry for me I am leaving town too) So in the spirit of the season we celebrated today what Christmas is all about to our little family.  Last week,  we sent Santa a letter requesting an early drop off and he happily obliged.  He understands the modern family.   Grandma arrived with treats, our stockings were opened and our gifts were exchange.  The girls surprised me with tickets to “The Wizard of Oz”.   It was the most thoughtful gift they could have given me.  Family time is rare, but when I get to wear my own Dorothy ruby red stiletto's,  it sends it to epic.    Thank you girls for reminding me that Christmas is about family, love and a touch of silly.  It’s not just a day.. It was our Christmas day.     Here is the Christmas photo.   Now that is priceless!

Crazy busy in December

I heard it again today that term “crazy busy” and my new favorite, “if I could only get through this season”. Which is completely opposite to what the “season” should be about. I thought Christmas was about peace on earth. However, as we are all discovering, that there is no peace in December. The Christmas cards are arriving in my mailbox and there is mixed pleasure. I love getting snail mail from friends and then a ting of guilt fills me. I just can’t seem to find time to do my own Christmas cards. Not to mention Christmas baking. Why is Christmas and sugar so tied together? Now heard through the female community are desperate cries for dresses, as our winter weight has found our hips. This is a not new phenomenon to the body, it usually corresponds to the Christmas parties and the baking plates at every place coffee is served. There is no peace in this season.... We really should do something about that...

No drama in 2012

  December is officially the end of the year.  And as always it comes with my list of all the stuff that just didn’t get done...AGAIN...  like my Closets, painting my house and it was another year that I didn’t pull a weed in my garden.  I am now already jumping into the new year, trying to leave my unfinished to do list in 2010.   I am not a new years resolution person,   I know that resolutions gets forgotten in January... But I  can reflect on my last year and I know that in 2012, I am not continuing with anything that caused me drama or brought me unkindness.  Maybe Revenue Canada will understand when I tell them “Sorry, can’t talk..its my new years resolution...  you are causing me drama and unkindness”...

tis the season

 Christmas seems to be getting bigger every year.  Music starts earlier, Santa arrives first day of December in the mall, and we race around looking for the perfect gift for our loved ones.  I was a zombie today wandering in and out of stores.  I came across a entire section of plates glasses, silverware and serving dishes with Santas face on them.  It is one dinner a year, and now I require special seasonal kitcenware?    As I was digging through my Christmas box, I found a quote from last year and it sums up what we all need to give ourselves instead of large credit card bills in January:

“Simply wrapped is forgiveness, a gift that allows me to let go of my past mistakes, and give myself permission to make new mistakes everyday.  This I give myself so I can learn that perfection is but a dream.  I am not, nor do I need to strive to be perfect”

So put down the Santa plates, forgive yourself if your Christmas dinner table is not out of a Martha Stewart magazine and enjoy the true meaning of the season on your old dishes.  

Moving on through divorce

My dear friends wrote a book and today was its official launch. It really is cool to be able to say..” Ya I know the author” .... I am just so hip and happening. Well not so much... During the speeches today I hear “ There is a book in everyone” ya right I thought, I takes courage to write it down. Well not to mention finding a editor, putting it in print and of course finding people who want to read it. But courage, is a great word to describe Kerry and Howard Parsons. They have developed a program called Moving on through divorce. It is about standing up, finding out who you are, and moving forward in your life. They have been a incredible inspiration to me. Congratulation Kerry & Howard, there are many of us out there that are in a better place because you decided to make moving on through divorce your life work.
http://www.movingonthroughdivorce.com/

Moving On Through Divorce

www.movingonthroughdivorce.com

Skeletons wear skinny jeans

It is  the start of December and it is slowly creeping towards Christmas.  I am very thankful that this crazy year is about to end.   For many of us a real shift happened  and life has taken some wild turns.   Looking back through my life, I can pin point when my life turned a corner for good or bad.  Sometimes I didn’t realize when it was happening, but this time I know.   Its about to turn a BIG corner.  With a fresh year about to start, I am going to walk slower this December and make sure I put to rest everything that is not coming with me on my new adventure in 2012.   It is like cleaning out the personal closets and letting all the skeletons out.   I guess I can get rid of my skinny jeans too, all my skeletons will need something to wear.

New today on the web

Its hard keeping up to everything that is happening on the web.    There are so many new sites popping up its impossible to stay relevant.   Who has time?... People are now site dropping... It is equivalent to name dropping in the “old” days.    Its tiring and I now find myself nodding my head like I know what they are talking about.  The truth is,  I have trouble reading all of my own emails and keeping up with face-book.   More importantly....I don’t want anymore irrelevant email.     Sometimes it is good to go old school... Fake it until you make it... or until you get a chance to google it on your phone.. 

Tapas.... Not just a spanish dish

7 days ago we were handed homework leaving yoga training it was to decide on a tapas and commit.  As I left the studio I  thought my gurus had lost their minds.  Tapas are a spanish food dish, what was there to decide... but to my surprise  Sanskrit  has tapas too. Wikipedia definition  is "heat", refers to a personal endeavor of discipline, undertaken to achieve a goal, accompanying suffering and pain”.   Why do I want to do anything that causes me suffering and pain?  These yogis are really putting me to the test.  As I stuffed a handful of M & M’s in my mouth, I couldn’t really think of what I could do to myself other than taking away my starbucks.  That would just cause suffering and pain to my family.  Caffeine is life support.  Then as my hand reached for the swedish berries, it dawned on me.. I love candy.  If candy is shaped like a fruit it is one...Right?     So here is my Tapas, I am off of refined sugar for 14 days.  No candy, cupcakes, or ice-cream..... I feel pain already.  Day one down, 13 to go.  Yogis!  Seriously.. Bring on the Spaniards!

Muppets back on the big screen

I got to take the girls to the movies today. They didn’t want to go, but I had a temper tantrum and made them come. My favorite childhood show “The Muppets” were back on the big screen and not in 3D. Quite frankly I find 3D distracting. Having to wear the glasses, waiting for the next thing to jump out, gives me a nervous twitch. As we waited for the movie to start, watching the 15 min of previews, it occurred to me that I enjoy PG movies more that adult movies. Kids movies are about friendship, learning lessons and finding out who you are. Everything I am working on. Adult movies are about love triangles, violence or vampires. I haven’t seen a adult movie in the last year that I walked away thinking it was worth my time or money. The Muppets on big screen, hanging with my girls having some straight up belly laughs over ridiculous 80‘s humor. I walked out singing a old muppet classic, brings me back to my childhood. Now that’s a Sunday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N_tupPBtWQ

Muppet Show - Mahna Mahna...m HD 720p bacco... Original!

www.youtube.com

Mahna Mahna Muppet Show original song HD 720p

Anxious bus

The anxious bus came along today, ran me over, backed up and rolled over me again and for no particular reason. Being anxious is a terrible feeling, there is a great heaviness on the chest and my thoughts are not reasonable.. Quite frankly its almost paralyzing. I went through the inventory of self help books nothing... then to ..the internet for meditations... How can you meditate when my heart is pounding?.. I love distraction so I jumped in my car and headed off to a friends. As soon as I sat down in her kitchen, a few laughs and great conversation my condition was forgotten.. I am not sure if it was misery loves company or forget your troubles.... I’ll take both and a spoon full of laughter.

This is my story

“This is my story” was the opening line tonight at my 17 year old daughters high school play.  It was powerful..   There was a profound moment as my jaw was hanging down..  staring at my daughter and her friends.... They nailed it.. and they are in High School.      At 43, conversations with my friends revolve around a need to be heard and to be seen.  Not as mothers, as volunteers, or in our careers but for who we are underneath all the labels.  Then in front of me was a cast of High School students talking about the exact same thing.    We are two different generations looking for who we are and being accepted for it.    Maybe they have uncovered the secret to their lives at a early age... To be who they truly are, not wrapped up in what anyone else thinks.      The greatest gift you could ever give yourself is to listen to your own teacher.  The one that tells you who you are.  Believe... It saves decades of time in self doubt and barrels of money in counseling...Just saying from 4 decades experience. 

Just like my mom

Where’s my Mommy!  I am wondering as I sat down to write this blog.  She has been traveling in the USA with her friend for over a week.   The woman is 75 and the grass doesn’t go green under her feet.  For some reason she still believes that long distance charges are similar in cost to traveling to the moon.   I don’t expect to hear from her everyday, but a check in would be nice.  I just want to know that she didn’t buy another time share, marry a 90 year old man or get lost on a bus tour.   I make my daughters check in and now I am going to have to put my own mother on notice.   I can’t believe what just happened...  the tables have turned and now I am keeping tabs on my mom... OMG, soon I will be watching curling and talking about the price of butter.  It’s the evolution of the woman, we slowly turn into our mothers... Good thing I am so fantastic, my girls should look forward to being exactly like me!

flowing with fear

Why does fear cripple us? We all have some sort of fear in our lives and it manifests in different ways. I know when I have to make a major decision in my life, I always find a new project to distract myself. I almost took a job at the Mac store today in a effort to self sabotage my own personal project... Karma Sisters. I now can recognize my trigger. I am the master of over doing... I heard from another friend who spent the day physically ill, paralyzed and silent in her own fear. Got me thinking about life is like a river. Every river has a beautiful calm spot where the birds are singing and the water is crisp, clean and inviting. As you venture further down, a giant log jam appears just enough to put you on guard. Then of course, you hear the rushing of the water and suddenly the pace of the water picks up. You know your approaching a steep waterfall and its life or death. You can grasp all the branches you want but your going over. Fighting only makes it worse, sometimes you have to just go with the flow. The greatest glory is looking from the bottom of the falls. The sound of the water, the vapors drifting and the pristine pool of water. To me that is conquering the fear, when you get to look back and say I did it. I survived and I am ok.

Mid Life crisis

There has been lots of chatter in my monkey mind about what’s my next step.  I am now looking into the world and wondering what is possible for me.  I no longer want a job just to have one.  I want something that I enjoy and challenges me everyday.  I have the luxury to dream and dream big.     Its a very exciting stage as I get to take a new life out for a test drive, discover what I like and discard what I don’t.     Midlife crisis?  Absolutely, I am just sad it took me to the middle of my life to say  “who am I?”.    Imagine being honest and turning back the clock and asking in your 20’s.  What a different world we would all live in.    Since I didn’t do the work then, I have to do it now... with reckless abandonment.  Time is ticking.     I can relive my 20’s... Just in a 40 something body with better shoes.   

The Finder

I am the finder of things in this home.  Like all mothers,  it is one of those jobs that can’t  be put on our resume, but damn were good at it.    As my children get older, I thought that the lost and found department would require less staff.. Not true.  “Someone” still lives here.  “ Someone took it”, is the most common statement, which usually follows a hair flip or a hand gesture like Vanna White pointing to the scene of the crime.    Today,  I found a couple of important items that have been lost for months.  Oddly enough they were found in 5 steps of “someone's”  bedroom.    I am looking back into my own life and can’t remember my mother as my detective, but I am sure she was.    What age did I suddenly take ownership of my life and my stuff?   Probably around the time I gave birth to  “ someone”.  

Failure is not a option

What is failure is not a option?  And you lived in your life everyday with this attitude.     I am thinking about all the amazing stories about woman who lifted cars to save their children.  Or all the other’s who have 3 jobs to support their families and start new business’s?     They have no time to consult their council of crazy, who’s president is the mean girl.  They are busy in the doing and not in the maybe.   Great ideas are only dreams until they are put into action.   Not mentally or physically strong enough is not ever discussed because...  Failure is not a option... Could be my new tag line.  

mind bully

I have a bully,  she is my oldest friend, and she lives inside of me.  She always has something to say, even when I don’t want to hear it.  I have decided we need a break.   I want a new true story.    We all have a mind bully who tells us stories and compares us to others.   She appears when we are tired, overwhelmed or looking for some kind of meaning in our life.   She usually has a long list of arguments on why we should not try something new.... “ your not her, your not educated, you have no time, your not good enough”.    The crazy thing is,  as mothers we would jump in and stop another person who was speaking to our child like this.   We would never talk to a beloved friend or sister with such language.   So why do we listen to the doom and gloom in our minds?   What possibilities are ahead for us being who we are naturally ... Just who we are.. not anyone else.. Just you.. Powerful stuff...  See ya mean girl... My mom says we can’t be friends anymore.  

Two moments in one day...

It’s 11:01 AM as I begin to write this blog.   I just had my moment of silence for our fallen soldiers and for the veterans left behind to remember.  One moment a year to thank and pray for our soldiers who secured our freedoms.  Freedoms that we seldom appreciate.   Then the next big moment of the morning is approaching 11:11 AM.  I have just bellowed out in my great big Mom voice “10 min!”.   10 min to think about your wish at 11:11 am.  The pressure is on, and my mind is spinning with possibilities.   Does one wish for millions of dollars?   Nope... It would be nice but that not what comes from the soul.    I haven’t read any rules on having to limit my wishes so I am going to be greedy and pick 3.    One wish for my family, one for the planet and one for me.  My wish for  my family will be to live long,  healthy & INSANELY happy lives.    And for the planet,  peace.    I asked the girls what their wish was and of course they would not tell me.   It’s back to those old wives telling tales... “If you tell your wish it wont come true”.    So,  I will save my personal wish for myself, just incase that old wife is watching.  

11/11/11 wish wisely

There is lots of talk about the full moon on the eve of 11/11/11.   I was out at a yoga sisterhood class tonight.  We had a candle light practice in a circle of woman.   If someone passed by and looked in they might have believe we were howling at the moon or perhaps embracing the dark arts.  Crazy hippies...  But the truth is we were just practicing yoga in the dark.    After class talk turned to the significance of the numerology of Friday.  Many believe that multiple 1‘s:  relate to energy and the flow of water, money,  & kundalini.     Therefore,  if you make a heart felt wish, one that you truly want deep down in your soul,  it will manifest and come true.  So don’t waste this precious energy and wish wisely.  Don’t over think it... But,  remember the old wives tale... Careful what you wish for, as it might come true.    I am wishing my Karma Sisters blessings.

I want out!

“I want out of my 5 km radius!” was what I shouted today in a yoga teachers class.    I had no idea that most of my days are spent in a very small world.  I drop kids off at school, get grocery’s, go to yoga, get coffee, work from my home office, but all within 5 km.  The assignment that brought me to this revelation was...   1.  What do I want?   2.  What do I need?    3.  What do I desire?  Once the material items were completed (everyone needs a Porsche Boxster to get to and from coffee) the real true soul work began.  I had no idea what I really wanted.  No one ever asks, and more importantly, I never ask myself.  I often feel like I have no time, so why bother.   As I sat in the silence of the room and watched everyone feverishly scribbling on their pads, I began to have a panic attack.  How could everyone in the room know what they really want?    Then it hit me...I want out out of my “safe” radius.   More adventure, more excitement, more learning.   Now that I answered that question...  The next big question is how do I get there?   Well hopefully in a Porsche!

Friendship via text message

I have a friends who most of our communication is done in 40 characters or less.  Time is racing by and we steal moments to reach out to each other.    I find as woman we are moving away from the old days of crying in the coffee, we can now empower each other through text messages.  Technology has can be the best spirit lifter around.  Drop someone a text ... No other reason than you are thinking of them.  It will probably change their day.  

random acts of kindness

Random acts of kindness are happening all around us.  And I don’t think I was really paying attention. I got a list from a friend yesterday on how people have gone out of their way to be nice to her.  Nothing life shattering, but little things.  For example,  getting a free wash ticket for her car from a stranger.   She was beaming as she was telling me.    Imagine if we all went out of our way to do something nice for someone?   Not anything that would really inconvenience our own lives,  just simple gestures.    I took note today in my own life on how many times kindness was sent my way, and if I could pay kindness back.  Lots of little things add up to a great day.  Text message from a friend I haven’t talked to in a while, a free coffee at starbucks, a great conversation at the dog park with a stranger, and letting someone with two items go ahead of me at Costco.   It’s the kindness pay forward movement.  One random act at a time... The tricky part is just staying present to be able recognize kindness when it happens to you. 

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween everyone.  It sure has changed since I was a kid...  (This is the start of a story my parents would tell about carrying water everyday, but here it goes)  We walked through snow drifts, in plastic masks with no breathing holes, lugging a pillow case, collecting homemade popcorn snacks, molasses candies and mini chocolate bars.  These days we don’t dare to hand out anything that wasn’t made in a factory in China.    As parents we still sort the bag looking for any suspicious candy that could be laced with a razor blade, or in my case coconut... Coconut and chocolate.. I have told the girls that it is very dangerous to children, and it just happens to be my favorite.    I consider a good Halloween, groceries for weeks.     Hayley came home from school to report that  there was a rumor that any “older” kids out halloweening could be fined by the police.   That is crazy to me.  If anyone shows up at my door in a costume they get candy, including the parents.  I think the criminal system has enough to deal with than cracking down on a 15 year old dressed as a pirate, knocking on doors for candy.  Imagine that conversation with the parents when the police show up.. “So you pirate was going door to door asking for candy from willing strangers, on Halloween”.  Its so ridiculous that makes me smile.   Frankly,  If someone stayed home to hand out candy at my house, I would hit the streets in a costume.  I would love to hear what my daughters would say when the  police brought me home.  It would probably be along the lines of “Thank you officer... she really thinks she is 12 sometimes”.   

age and ADD

Most days, I crawl into bed and try and remember what I actually accomplished. The kids are always fed, the dog walked and at some point at least one load of laundry went in, but after that the last 12 hours is a blur. Time seems to stand still only when I am waiting for my 5 shot starbucks. This video came to my phone today, and I had to laugh....It was a great reminder that we are losing it... Embrace our ADD.... Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=6oHBG3ABUJU&vq=medium

Start the day with positive thoughts end with gratitude

Greet everyday with positive thoughts and close it with gratitude. What a concept. Usually I greet everyday with my to do list before I open my eyes. Even in those few quiet moments I have each day, my mind is already racing. Closing my day with gratitude, is a great idea. My head usually hits the pillow like a cement block, not another ounce of energy left in my body or another thought able to cross my mind. I read somewhere that it takes 21 days to make a change. Day 1 on Tuesday, changing the way I start and close my day. My first positive thought is going to be that the girls remembered to turn on the dishwasher. And right now, I am very grateful to have a warm bed to sleep in, food in my fridge and a dishwasher that probably wasn’t turned on.

What happened to my singing career?

 Today Billies soccer team the Cheetahs hit the field.  I am a lucky mom as I get to be  on the bench most of the games as I am the official manager of 13,  8 year old girls.  It is a intense job of lace tying, gate opening , and occasional tear wiper after the mean girl on the other team steps on their toes.   During one of the shift changes I told Anna that I was an expect on soccer shoes laces.  She looked at me with the most glorious big eyes to declare all of the things she was really good at.. singing...writing, dancing and obviously soccer.  I was amazed at the self confidence this beautiful little girl had.  At what point does society rob her of this gift of knowing what she is good at?  If I asked her in 5 years would she be able to tell me what she is good at with such enthusiasm?   Probably not, and tragic really... I am reading the four agreements and the first agreement is being impeccable with your words. This is a huge lesson in itself.  How easily we can say things in passing when we are  tired or frustrated  but can make such an imprint on someone else.   I know I am guilty.    I can think of many occasions when I spoke and she have been silent.    I am sure when I was 8,  I was a good singer too.  Not sure what happened to my singing career, might have been the introduction of the Organ.  Serious childhood trauma, and a entire blog for another night.  

Here we go, online dating

Sitting at dinner tonight with my sister and her husband and we were talking about dating and communication.  In the good old days the only form of communication was telephone, and most of us didn’t have answering machines.  Now there is texting, skype, facebook, tweeter and the cell phone.  If you give someone all your information and they can’t find you, they are to dumb to date.   In the 80’s it was easy to pretend to be someone you weren’t.  Now before you even go out, there is hours of investigative work on the internet.     I am now leery of anyone who has no google hits.  Have they lived under a rock?  Had no life what so ever? Or could they be so interesting that they are in the witness protection program?   This is where my new adventure is taking me, to creeping people online and social media dating.  Somehow I don’t feel ready... Maybe I should ask for advice on tweeter.  Teenagers always have the best advice in 40 characters or less.  

Enjoy the now

I came home from my meeting tonight with the delicious smell of popcorn in the air only  to find remnants remaining.    As I ran my fingers over the buttery bowl, I thought that this is just the right amount for me.   If I had made a gigantic bowl, I would have stuffed myself to a tummy ache.   There are so many things in my life that I need to learn my limits on.    Numerous food and beverage choices, my shoe obsession and more importantly looking into the future, and hashing up the past.  The could of, would of and should have..   can occupy my brain which makes me forget about living in the now.    There is nothing I can do about the past, other than learn from my mistakes.  Nothing I can do about the future, other than take with me what I have learned.  This brings me right here in this very moment.  Enjoying the golden leaves falling from the trees,  the incredible fall weather, remnants of popcorn and sweet honey crisp apples.   Maybe my life can be enjoyed that easily.  

Power of attraction

The power of attraction, is a well written subject. In 2006 a book was written called “the secret” and it was all the rage. It really wasn’t a new idea, the bible is full of quotes "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." (Mark 9:23) I stood at the grocery line today looking at the headlines of the magazines, and I had an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. My house was out of date, my hair is out of control, my tummy needs a tuck and I am cooking the wrong thing for dinner. I was in line for 8 min. Not one positive message on any headline. If we read, watch and listen to things that inspire us, we will be inspired. Use the law of attraction to bring us what we really need. Not bigger houses, or faster cars. Better relationships, and simpler lives. If we all decided that we had more was not better, and enough is enough then drug companies would go bust. No more anti anxiety pills and heart medication. There is a great face book page called “calming your inner storm”, beautiful photos with positive messages, the best part is its free. Sometimes the best things in life are really free.

words hurt

We have some rules in this house and I am not talking about picking up backpacks or making sure your homework is done, those are rules that are constantly broken... Its put downs and my pet peeve. The girls are not allowed to say hate, or call themselves stupid or dumb. We are not perfect, sisters fight, kids name call, and its all hurtful. I was sent this photo today, and wonder how many kids are out there being told these messages. We need to be better parents even when our kids do something dumb.

Four bad days of eating and I can feel it on my body. The pants are tight, but the bigger issue is that the body is sluggish. I spent the long weekend indulging myself... I was very thankful for pies and desserts. It would not truly be celebrating if we refused the things we are most thankful for. Needless to say, when the body is off so is everything else. My brain feels cluttered, I have less energy and bad eating leads to more bad eating... As I laid down for a 20 min nap which is such a luxury, I thought about what a fantastic side effect a nap was after a weekend of gluttony. Sometimes there are rewards for bad behavior. I also realized it took a pumpkin pie, chocolate cake, creme brulee, chirro’s and chocolate sauce and oranges with rosemary to get me to rest. Divine intervention by sugar.

taking responsibility for relationships

Today was a day of relationships. Working and interacting with people, co-workers, friends and family. Many relationships are just easy and others are work. I have some friendships that I work harder at and I have some friends who work harder at being my friend. I always feel guilty about those. Not that I don’t want to see them, its much like the squeaky wheel syndrome. The the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Driving around today, sitting at the lights was an old neighbor who at one time was a very good friend. I waved, honked, roll down my window, stuck my arm out and she didn’t look over. She was stealing a quiet moment in her car, but to everyone else at the light, I was a crazy red haired road raged maniac. I reflected back on the years and couldn’t remember how we drifted apart, no fight, no lack of respect, we were just busy with families. What really happened is that neither of us chose to take responsibility for the friendship. When I got into my writing space tonight I read my emails and came across this video. Just really sums up what we need to do to hold on to those we hold dear. Its called the 100/0 principle. Take 100% of the responsibility and expect nothing in return. I know a few people just spit their coffee out reading this, but have a look before you text me this morning. If what your trying doesn’t work, maybe you need to change strategies. Keep a open mind karma sisters.

The 100/0 Principle | Simple Truths

www.100-0principle.com

The 100/0 Principle will guide you to developing effective relationships to help you succeed and improve relationships. Get the 100/0 Principle today.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. We are all rubbing our bellies wishing that we hadn’t gone back for another piece of pie, or perhaps you are wondering why the white bun always seems like such a good idea. Tums should be passed around with the coffee. Thanksgiving is really about be thankful for the bountiful harvest. Most of us are not working the fields to produce a harvest, but we all have reasons to be thankful. Family, friends, food and new shoes are always great places to start. But, if you dig deeper what would you be most thankful for? I had dinner with a friend and he spoke of his cancer like a gift. It was a cleansing in his life. Sometimes the greatest hardships bring the greatest gifts, and those gifts we can be most thankful for. Happy gobble gobble...

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/stacey_kramer_the_best_gift_i_ever_survived.html

Stacey Kramer: The best gift I ever survived | Video on TED.com

www.ted.com

TED Talks Stacey Kramer offers a moving, personal, 3-minute parable that shows how an unwanted experience -- frightening, traumatic, costly -- can turn out to be a priceless gift.

Steve Jobs RIP

Steve Jobs died this week and to most people he was just a really rich computer guru who made billions on apple. All this information is true, but what most people don’t know is that he was a college drop out, ran off to India, became a Buddhist, and was so broke in the 70’s ate free meals with the Hare Krishna's. He was one of the founders of Mac computers, pushed out, started again, and then eventually his new company bought out by Mac. He didn’t have the education to be who he became, he didn’t have the upbringing, he just had passion. He followed what was true for him and he made his mark on this earth. One of my favorite quotes of his “We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life” Steve Jobs 1955-2011

Here is his talk about living before you die. So worth the watch
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html

Steve Jobs: How to live before you die | Video on TED.com

www.ted.com

TED Talks At his Stanford University commencement speech, Steve Jobs, CEO and co-founder of Apple and Pixar, urges us to pursue our dreams and see the opportunities in life's setbacks -- including death itself.

discount email

Every morning I wake up my phone is filled with emails. I am always a bit excited to to see who has dropped me a note. Instead it is offers of fantastic vacations, cheap dinners or merchandise at 50% off.    What savings!  Should I really consider a week at a time share resort with a bottle of Mexico’s best water waiting for me in my room?    We are bombarded everyday everywhere with marketing ads.   Marketers are hoping  society is searching for happiness in trips and discounted stuff.   Maybe happiness is just waking up to only two emails from friends?   I am cleaning up my inbox today and un-subscribing to everything.    And when I decide to take a vacation,  I will just book it with no fine print and no bottle water.  

Glee night.. Yippee

It is glee night here, its the only show I watch on T.V. Not because I enjoy the music or the plot of the show, it is the only show we can watch together as a family. Somehow everyone seems to make it home in time. There is always an underlying message, about friendship, forgiveness and then they wrap it all up in a nice bow at the end of the hour. It usually costs the itunes account $4.00 as they girls download the newest songs from the episode. This is the precious family moments that I appreciate, with lots of girl gab during commercials. Crazy family time is over a bunch of 20 somethings trying to play high school students. I’ll take what I can.

Blogger Block

I am having trouble writing and for lots of different reasons. I really don’t consider myself a serious writer, just a blogger. Writers block is something that apparently everyone gets, but bloggers? They should re-name it bloggers block. There are lots of expressions about “blocks” like.. road blocks, cellblock and mental block. Blocks happen in everyones life. How do you get over a block? Remove the obstacles or go around would probably be the tangible right answer. My issue is not physical so now I have to find out what the block is. Way to much work.. l am going to give this blockhead a rest, maybe something insightful will come to me tomorrow. More sleep would be start.

Happy Birthday Comet

When you name a daughter after Haileys comet, you must expect the same characteristics.   Bright ball of fire that lights up the sky.  Has such incredible energy that  it can be seen by the naked eye.  Well,  My comet is 15 today, and Hayley is all energy and she puts it into everything,  everyday (usually with  sassy humor.)  One of my favorite things about her is when she decides to accomplish something, she does.  No excuses  no grand gestures, she just gets to work and gets it handled. And if it didn’t go as planned, she negotiates.    My only real issue is the condition of her room.   Most days it looks like a gang tore through it looking for crown jewels.  Even when its “clean” the vacuum could never pass over the carpet.    Happy Birthday Hayley,  “You are going to make big tracks in this world”  as my father would say.  

Where is the loyalty?

Today my “baby mac” officially broke.  This is the lap top that I have done all my writing on.  My first official, me computer, and a very close friend.   When I took it into the Mac store today, they tried to talk me out of fixing it.  Dylan,  the mac genius had lots of great reasons for buying new.   It is better value, longer warranty, and most importantly, all the new features of the mac book.  As a taurus, I a fiercely loyal, I have trouble going to another Starbuck barissta for my coffee and the thought of just handing in baby mac to some computer graveyard almost made me ill.     This computer holds photos of the girls from birth, my very first buy on Itunes from 8 years ago and of course endless amount of writing time.   I know that it can all be transferred over, but makes me think that this is what is wrong with people these days, to much of out with the old and in with the new.   Is there any  loyalty left?   My old  laptop is coming home in 7 days and I am planning a  celebration with a coffee from my favorite Starbuck Barrista,  Jen.   

commitment

There has been a common threat in conversations with friends these days.  And it is about commitment.  There is a fear about making a choice.  “What if its wrong?” “ What if its not what I want to do?”  “What if there is something else?”.....   What if there is something else, and the wrong choice lead you to the right one?  I grew up under the goal oriented model, set your goal and move to it.  I have no goal (my father is freaking out in heaven right now) just an intention for change.   I am finding a real freedom in not truly knowing and just enjoying my life.  I have given myself permission to be very curious about absolutely everything.   Moving forward, changing directions, going back, it is all movement.  Standing still only keeps you somewhere that you really don’t want to be.    Life is passing by, take a baby step, even if your not sure of the road.    

Highschool again?

I am having some crazy dreams this week. I think eveyone has had the one from highschool. I am always lost in the halls looking for my home room. I have no books, I haven’t studied and its the final exam. When I wake up, I am happy to be back in my 40 something body (well for a few moments until my hips creak). I know its because my class is this weekend and I am behind in my studies. I read a great article about change and procrastination. It talked about where we put our energy is where the biggest growth happens in your life. If you want a new career, focus on that. Whatever is consuming you, focus your energy towards. So Tuesday, I am putting my energy back into my books, and a few other plaguing matters. So long highschool! Maybe I will go back to dreaming about something more realistic, like running away from tornados.

officailly the end

Thats it, today was the end of summer.    We just had the last weekend of warm weather.  The autumn leaves are slowly falling to the ground.     We did a lot of  summer living in this family squeezed into the cracks of a busy household.   Tonight, I dragged Kate on the roof to look at the stars when she should have been in bed.  The air is so warm, the sky so clear,  I had to share it.  The clock is moving forward leading us into a new season and we can't fight it, we just have to enjoy any moment we can.

International Peace Day

It is international peace day today. I envisioned it more of a grassroots movement then a international awakening. Something that each individual took responsibility for and not a nation. I heard today a interesting quote, it went something like.... We must make peace with ourselves before peace can be found in the world. Very True. Everyone wants more peace in their lives, it is just phrased different. Sounds like... more kindness, more time, or more quiet. All these stress’s are really about balance. When you have balance you have peace. Just being more thoughtful, less angry, and more understanding. What a difference that could make world wide. We must appreciate and send gratitude for what we have everyday.

This is a great lead in to an event happening in Calgary on Friday night at Ceili’s Irish Pub. Here is the official plug.

If you need some good karma, and looking for a great night out. Join the L.I.B (Let It Be) fundraiser. This organization is working with impoverished countries. They reach out and help where it is needed, from building schools to investing in communities to improve their quality of life. Check out the facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=207112672680795.

Tickets are $15 (includes 1 free drink and a chance to win the door prize). Book your tickets now by emailing info@libinternational.com. Hope to see you there! Check out the website at www.libinternational.com

Peace Love Understanding and Music Fundraiser II with the Reuben Kincaids!

Location: Ceili's Irish Pub & Restaurant

Time: ‎7:00PM Friday, September 23rd

What a delusional moment

“You can’t change your mind” Cassidy spat out when I told her I decided against having a bunny in our house. I think it is one of the greatest things about being a woman is that we can change our minds and we do. I know there are days in my house that I agree to things and I haven’t really thought it out. Perhaps all the voices in my head where talking at the same time, it’s really tough staying with one conversation. But agreeing to a rabbit? It was a delusional moment. We decided to borrow “Ava”, Chantelles bunny for a week to see how it fits in our family. Which got me thinking about a new business, pet rentals. What parent really wants hamster? One week with the rodent is all kids need before the magic wears off, and the stink starts. I have high hopes the week with Eva the bunny that the luster wears off. I will offer cupcakes as a peace offering. They always makes everything better. Change your mind sisters, especially when your sanity is at risk!

Happy Birthday Cassidy

Today is a special day. Its my oldest daughter, Cassidy’s 17th birthday.. I can't believe I have a child who is in grade 12. She said, its really a birthday that has no fan fare. At 16 you get to drive and at 18 you become an adult and at 17 no hoopla. For this mother 17 has lots of hoopla. Its really officially the last year she is my baby. After 18 she can get tattoos, get married, join the arm and adopt a bunny without my consent. I only have 12 more months of power. I dug out of the basement today, the newspaper from the day she was born. I came across her horoscope. Here are the highlights from 17 years ago. She is a virgo who is a perfectionist...(yup she’s got that unless it is her room) A born teacher who loves to share her expertise with friends and colleges (Already decided to be a teacher). Now looking one year ahead, I can only hope that next year when she is officially of “age”, I am not blogging that she has gotten engaged, adopted a bunny and has a tattoo. Well, unless the tattoo says “my mom rocks.” Your an amazing person Cassidy and I am very proud of who you are.

Surrender to the white flag

There is an art in learning how to surrender.  I often find myself in a battle, wondering how to  wave the white flag when things have not gone my way.   I just spent the last 15 minutes completely frustrated looking for my book.  I was sure one of the little people who live in this house had taken it.    I surrendered to the fact it was lost,  decided to stop looking for it and it suddenly appeared on my night stand.  Can surrendering to other situations be that easy?    I am going to make it my goal this week to “pick my battles” and “wave the white flag when necessary”.    We can’t change every situation,  sometimes we can only minimize the causalities.

Apology

So my intention today was to greet everyone that I crossed paths with a  hearty hello, a smile or a greeting.    As I walked today at the dog park with Kaos, I meet a couple that turned right as I turned left.  At the end of the walk, I saw them again, and noticed they had no dog.  So, I asked “your are down at the dog park without a dog?”.   “Yes” they replied sadly, “we lost our dog a few years ago, but still like to walk here”.  It was one of those moments where I wanted to take my foot out of my mouth.  Of course, I meant nothing by the comment other than small talk, but found myself in a difficult conversation.  What to do?  I apologized for my insensitivity.    As it was alright to walk in the dog park, it was ok to walk without a dog, and of course it was alright to do it without questions from a nosy red head.  I know we have all said things that just didn’t come out the right way.  How about when we try and cover them up and make it much worse than the original violation?  Sincere Apology... Its all I could do, and a severe scolding from myself to myself.  

Ripple effect

As I lived my life today, I was aware how energy changed when people came in and out of my day. Mostly fantastic, but some not so great. Got me thinking about the big big picture. What if you decided to make to make a small difference with everyone you meet.. Just the tiniest impression that they carry through the day. What if an entire community silently makes a pledge for a similar goal, the effect like a ripple in a lake. Maybe we could find a bit more kindness or understanding. We have all had days were nothing seems to go right and we lock into a negative flow. What happens if we refuse to allow everything to go wrong, and accept that the lost keys are just lost keys for that moment? Attitude.. in life and relationships. Amazing how that ripple carries.

Please add a narrator to my life

A while back I blogged about Goldilocks and the Three Bears. If you missed it, here is the nuts of it. There were three sides to this story. The narrator, who was able to tell the story with very little emotion and lots of facts. The Three Bears, who were distraught that this little girl walked in their home, uninvited, ate their food, broke a chair and then had the nerve to fall asleep. Then of course, Goldilocks who was lost and alone in the woods and found this beautiful home, a refuge from the elements. The Three bears and Goldilocks are never going to agree on the true happening of the story. Both stories are true, as they are true to the individuals who’s emotions and experiences created the story. I had to remind myself this week, as I found myself lost in my own story. Life can be so complicated. There are days that I wish the narrator could jump in and let me know exactly what the facts were. Had the narrator taken the Three Bears aside and told them how this girl found herself in their home, this fairy tale’s ending might have changed. Maybe... the three bears made Goldilocks a fresh bowl of porridge while she cleaned up her mess... just a thought.

Guru's say Embrace love

I made a decision about 2 weeks ago to jump in and take yoga training.  I thought it would be a breeze.  I regularly practice, critic teachers in my head and have become fearless in class.   That’s the great thing about the universe is that it is so humbling.   As I found out this weekend, I know nothing about yoga.  There was a moment this afternoon, when my heart began to beat out of my chest.   How could I stand in front of a class, and speak about energy from the earth?  Fear can be crippling, and I am not going to let it take me over.    It is going to be an amazing journey and a lifetime of learning.     When a passion comes into my life, effort is lost, and a gentle grace comes.   This weekend of training only taught me that we will always be students in life.   Embrace change, embrace learning, and most importantly as the guru’s say, Embrace love..  (now that was yogi) 

Tonight was my 25 year High School Reunion. Its a bit surreal when you have a daughter who is in grade 12. To me, it really wasn’t that long ago that I walked the hallways of high school. It is only 3 years but has such an impact on our lives. High School is when you actually believed you were a adult, but still needed the boundaries set by your parents. We started dreaming about careers, relationships and learned how to drive. You are still a child but occasionally act like an adult. There are some days I wish I still was in School and lived with my parents. Something fantastic about coming home to dinner and clean laundry.

Growing a garden

Today in yoga, the teacher made reference to your life being like a empty garden. You can plant any seed you wanted, cultivate it and watch it grow. It really got me thinking about what seeds are in my hand. Sometimes the wheels in my head begin to move so fast about what my life could be, it almost overwhelms me back to complacency. No negative seeds needed. I am already growing a crop of nonsense. I have this image of me walking down a empty field in my overalls. Starting simple, picking emotions.... I would plant joy, understanding, kindness, and laughter. I would include intentions towards my family, my career and my friends. I just need to put that first seed in the ground. I think I will plant joy first. We all could use a little more fun around here.

Perfect moment

I stood on the first tee box at golf  today looking down hole number 1.  I decided that I wasn't going to take score.  I was going to just hit the ball and enjoy being out.  Sometimes the ego gets in the way of the fun.    Its was 25 above, and I was enjoying the moment.   What a  luxury it is to be golfing on a Wednesday,  when most people were working.   Do I really need to know what my score was?    In my head, I might of been close to the course record.  Scorecard reality,  would have told me otherwise.     Something has happened to me in the last two years, almost like I found an hour glass on my life.  Each grain of sand represents one moment and I am trying to clutch every one.    Hanging out with my girlfriends in the sun on a golf course is as close to a perfect piece of sand as I will ever get.   

Chaos is way more fun

Today felt like my life is back in routine. Wake up, get dog out, make coffee, get lunches, wake girls.... on and on. Soon its 9:05 and I already have accomplished so many little things. Just everyday stuff that we all do as parents to get kids to class. We really don’t want them to live at home for the rest of their lives. I often wonder when the girls are all moved away what my life will look like? I know that I will have clean bathrooms, full fridge of food and no finger prints on my walls. The house will be empty, quiet and lonely. Maybe hearing loss in seniors is a result of not wanting to hear that they are no longer surrounded by family. I keep trying to remind myself that there will be a day that I will miss the school bags at the front door, the wrappers stuck in the chairs, and the screaming girls. When its “witching dinner hour” and we are all tired and hungry, I take a moment to dream. I think about what quiet would be like. Makes me sad. Quiet is over rated, chaos is way more fun.

Hours of school Forms

That was an hour of my life I will never get back.. Back to school forms.    With 4 kids and 3 schools they came home with  a large amount of paperwork, and even larger school fee form.  I started with the youngest, Billie.  My favorite sheet was about learning.   Question #1 “How does you child best learn?”.  Geez, I really have no idea.   Don’t they know #4 learns by osmosis?   Question #2, “How do you discipline your child?”.   I thought about..  “ beat her with a stick”, was my first response but after some thought I changed it.   I don’t want child welfare here because I think I am funny... So instead,   I wrote,  child labour.  Still funny.    The school fee’s inch up every year.  I am positive that way back in the  70’s & 80’s that my parents didn’t write large check’s for gym, gym strip, locks,  school society, lunch time supervision, bus passes, field trips and instructional material.  What exactly is instructional material for a teacher that the government doesn’t supply?  I hope its smelly markers.   In my opinion,  the greatest school supply invention since the pencil.  School society?   Must be for the higher society kids who have tea and cucumber sandwiches for lunch.  I hope Billies teacher thinks I am funny.  Could be a long year for her cleaning the chalk board.