Please add a narrator to my life

A while back I blogged about Goldilocks and the Three Bears. If you missed it, here is the nuts of it. There were three sides to this story. The narrator, who was able to tell the story with very little emotion and lots of facts. The Three Bears, who were distraught that this little girl walked in their home, uninvited, ate their food, broke a chair and then had the nerve to fall asleep. Then of course, Goldilocks who was lost and alone in the woods and found this beautiful home, a refuge from the elements. The Three bears and Goldilocks are never going to agree on the true happening of the story. Both stories are true, as they are true to the individuals who’s emotions and experiences created the story. I had to remind myself this week, as I found myself lost in my own story. Life can be so complicated. There are days that I wish the narrator could jump in and let me know exactly what the facts were. Had the narrator taken the Three Bears aside and told them how this girl found herself in their home, this fairy tale’s ending might have changed. Maybe... the three bears made Goldilocks a fresh bowl of porridge while she cleaned up her mess... just a thought.

Guru's say Embrace love

I made a decision about 2 weeks ago to jump in and take yoga training.  I thought it would be a breeze.  I regularly practice, critic teachers in my head and have become fearless in class.   That’s the great thing about the universe is that it is so humbling.   As I found out this weekend, I know nothing about yoga.  There was a moment this afternoon, when my heart began to beat out of my chest.   How could I stand in front of a class, and speak about energy from the earth?  Fear can be crippling, and I am not going to let it take me over.    It is going to be an amazing journey and a lifetime of learning.     When a passion comes into my life, effort is lost, and a gentle grace comes.   This weekend of training only taught me that we will always be students in life.   Embrace change, embrace learning, and most importantly as the guru’s say, Embrace love..  (now that was yogi) 

Tonight was my 25 year High School Reunion. Its a bit surreal when you have a daughter who is in grade 12. To me, it really wasn’t that long ago that I walked the hallways of high school. It is only 3 years but has such an impact on our lives. High School is when you actually believed you were a adult, but still needed the boundaries set by your parents. We started dreaming about careers, relationships and learned how to drive. You are still a child but occasionally act like an adult. There are some days I wish I still was in School and lived with my parents. Something fantastic about coming home to dinner and clean laundry.

Growing a garden

Today in yoga, the teacher made reference to your life being like a empty garden. You can plant any seed you wanted, cultivate it and watch it grow. It really got me thinking about what seeds are in my hand. Sometimes the wheels in my head begin to move so fast about what my life could be, it almost overwhelms me back to complacency. No negative seeds needed. I am already growing a crop of nonsense. I have this image of me walking down a empty field in my overalls. Starting simple, picking emotions.... I would plant joy, understanding, kindness, and laughter. I would include intentions towards my family, my career and my friends. I just need to put that first seed in the ground. I think I will plant joy first. We all could use a little more fun around here.

Perfect moment

I stood on the first tee box at golf  today looking down hole number 1.  I decided that I wasn't going to take score.  I was going to just hit the ball and enjoy being out.  Sometimes the ego gets in the way of the fun.    Its was 25 above, and I was enjoying the moment.   What a  luxury it is to be golfing on a Wednesday,  when most people were working.   Do I really need to know what my score was?    In my head, I might of been close to the course record.  Scorecard reality,  would have told me otherwise.     Something has happened to me in the last two years, almost like I found an hour glass on my life.  Each grain of sand represents one moment and I am trying to clutch every one.    Hanging out with my girlfriends in the sun on a golf course is as close to a perfect piece of sand as I will ever get.   

Chaos is way more fun

Today felt like my life is back in routine. Wake up, get dog out, make coffee, get lunches, wake girls.... on and on. Soon its 9:05 and I already have accomplished so many little things. Just everyday stuff that we all do as parents to get kids to class. We really don’t want them to live at home for the rest of their lives. I often wonder when the girls are all moved away what my life will look like? I know that I will have clean bathrooms, full fridge of food and no finger prints on my walls. The house will be empty, quiet and lonely. Maybe hearing loss in seniors is a result of not wanting to hear that they are no longer surrounded by family. I keep trying to remind myself that there will be a day that I will miss the school bags at the front door, the wrappers stuck in the chairs, and the screaming girls. When its “witching dinner hour” and we are all tired and hungry, I take a moment to dream. I think about what quiet would be like. Makes me sad. Quiet is over rated, chaos is way more fun.

Hours of school Forms

That was an hour of my life I will never get back.. Back to school forms.    With 4 kids and 3 schools they came home with  a large amount of paperwork, and even larger school fee form.  I started with the youngest, Billie.  My favorite sheet was about learning.   Question #1 “How does you child best learn?”.  Geez, I really have no idea.   Don’t they know #4 learns by osmosis?   Question #2, “How do you discipline your child?”.   I thought about..  “ beat her with a stick”, was my first response but after some thought I changed it.   I don’t want child welfare here because I think I am funny... So instead,   I wrote,  child labour.  Still funny.    The school fee’s inch up every year.  I am positive that way back in the  70’s & 80’s that my parents didn’t write large check’s for gym, gym strip, locks,  school society, lunch time supervision, bus passes, field trips and instructional material.  What exactly is instructional material for a teacher that the government doesn’t supply?  I hope its smelly markers.   In my opinion,  the greatest school supply invention since the pencil.  School society?   Must be for the higher society kids who have tea and cucumber sandwiches for lunch.  I hope Billies teacher thinks I am funny.  Could be a long year for her cleaning the chalk board.