Self Doubt seems to be a plague with woman. I watched Kevin Costner’s tribute to Whitney Houston this weekend and he reflected on how she was consumed with doubt about her abilities during the filming of “the bodyguard”. Whitney Houston had a voice of an angel and she died not owning that. I know from personal experience, working on my KS project, I am waiting for someone to tell me that I don’t know what I am doing (which is very true, but still cautiously moving ahead). What’s with all the self doubt? Think about when we receive a compliment. Usually with a deflection to someone else’s efforts or we argue the fact. We were raised not to toot our own horns. Are we not realizing who we are or who we can be because we are trying to stay quiet in an effort not to hurt someone else's feelings? There is a difference between bragging and owning our accomplishments. Achievements builds the evidence to damper that mean girl in our heads who remind us that we are not good enough. As I searched the internet looking for a great quote for this blog most of them were from men. Clearly this is not a gender specific problem, but it is Karma SISTERS. So in the words of a great woman Eleanor Roosevelt “You must do the thing you think you cannot do”
One image that I have never forgotten in my life is that of a little 6 year old girl in a dressing room of an upscale store. When my oldest daughter was around the same age, I was shopping for clothes for her. While we waited for the changeroom, this other little girl bounced out of the room in a dress, twirled around a few times in front of the mirror, and exclaimed to her mother, "I look FANTASTIC!" My heart filled up right then and there; joy touched with a little sadness. Where along the course of our lives as girls, teenagers, then young women, do we lose that confidence and pure appreciation for ourselves for simply being who we are? There are snippets in our lives that we can all refer to, where the confidence was slowly chipped away like bits of plaster. A angry 12 year old girl from a transient family, who enters an elementary school and wreaks havoc on all the girls around her, a tiny snide comment from a 17 year old boyfriend, a bitter middle aged female boss who cannot fathom the impact she makes on a 24 year old college graduate...
ReplyDeleteImagine the scrutiny of a woman like Whitney Houston. We are all born to be shining stars, some of us shining in the spotlight more than others, and therefore picked apart by world on a bigger scale. This is one of life's major lessons, and the toughest to over come. Loving oneself in a world that can be so unloving. It is the center of our our existence.
"The problem for all of us, men and women, is not learn, but to unlearn." -Gloria Steinem